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This is an article I wrote a while back for my Art of Eloquence blog/site.  Since the focus here at Grape Stuff is on family, I thought it would be fun to re-post it here.  Many of us think we have a lot to teach our kids, but truth be told, they have a lot they can teach us too.

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Little children are inexperienced in communication, but as I will share, we can all learn some valuable communication lessons from them.

Lesson number one: Speak Plainly.

Adults say, “The honour of your presence is requested at the…blah blah blah…”  Adults go to great lengths to use the right words, the perfect invitation and the most respectful language, but at the end of the day, it can often sound confusing, standoffish or pompous.

Children say, “Wanna come to my party?”  Children put things simply, succinctly and honestly.  They don’t worry about how it sounds.  They just say what they mean and because they don’t know big fancy words, they don’t use them.  Children don’t send mixed messages.  They don’t use subtlety.  They don’t mince words.  They come right out and say what’s on their mind.  It’s clear, bold and honest.

As adults, we do need to watch our tone and choose our words carefully, but we can all learn simplicity from our children.  Winston Churchill said it best, “The short words are best, and the old words are best of all.”

Lesson Four: Be Yourself!

Young children are who they are.  They very rarely hide it.  In fact, they don’t know they can and they don”t think they should. Adults learn that in order to be accepted, we need to conform.  In order to be promoted, we may need to comply.  In order to be effective, we may need to play the game.  Let’s face it, if our kids did this, we’d call it pretend.

Adults often loose some of their sense of self as we play the game of life.  We get away from what we want because of what we need.  We move away from who we are in favor of who we think others need us to be.

When I was a kid, I was weird.  “They” called me that.  “They” is the popular kids.  I moved around a lot as a kid and, since I was shy, it was hard to fit in anyway.  However, being different (weird) made it that much more difficult.  I was the one who didn’t have a history with them.  I was the outsider.  I was the one who said “dungarees” instead of “jeans.”  I had a “pocket book” instead of a “purse.”  I loved words and music not designer Sasoon labels (Okay, I just gave away my age there!) and I talked about justice and fairness while my peers talked about boys and beauty.  I was the short one, the creative nerd.

Maybe you felt that way.  Adults thought it was cute when I was young, but as I grew older, I found my peers didn’t agree.  I tried to fit in.  I tried not to be a weirdo.  I didn’t try long because it just didn’t work and I was miserable being someone else.

So I learned very early in life what my daughter calls “Embracing Your Inner Weirdness.”   And when I accepted Jesus, I realized that this is who God created me to be anyway.

Another lesson I learned after studying communication skills for many years is that, while children may want everyone to be the same, adults find that boring.  Adults want to spend time with an individual, but by that time most of us have already spent too many years trying to be someone else.  My advice to you is DON’T.

I’m five foot nuthin’, have an extremely goofy sense of humor, wear thick glasses,  and love purple so much it’s the only color I wear.  It’s me.  It’s who I am and you know what?  People remember me.  They appreciate my creativity.

Don’t be like everyone else.  God created you to be special.  As you go about life trying to live as Christ would have you, also remember to be the person God crated you to be and not a carbon copy of someone else.  He already created someone to be that guy!

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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer.  Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula.  You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com.  For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

Merry Christmas!  Have a Grape day with your family!  Here’s a little Christmas inspiration for you.